Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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