You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
