He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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