Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think i got beer on your cat.
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