hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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