Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You may now shotgun with the bride
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
