I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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