Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
