First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she smelled like a LAN party
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
