So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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