Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
