you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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