let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
