He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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