Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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