I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
zippers are such a cool invention
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
