so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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