I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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