this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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