I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
