Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm passing your future prison.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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