I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
