yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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