That's intense
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
