we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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