Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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