Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
