so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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