We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
