I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The beer is more important than you right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
