FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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