Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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