he wants to bone in the snuggie
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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