Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
