i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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