You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
