I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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