That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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