He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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