Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
