If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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