I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize