I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I forget how to act sober
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
