I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
