Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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