He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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