I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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