i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
