the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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