Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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