sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
