I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
