Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
