he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
