so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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