dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
