Apparently you make a good broom.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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