sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
