I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
