I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
