i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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