I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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