I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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