Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
