see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
