There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
